Vday for the single girl!!!
My Tips and Tricks for Valentine's day. Enjoy!
With Valentine's Day around the corner, I thought it was only right to make some Vday articles.
Just a message for the single girls before I get into the tips. In general when someone says they have a boyfriend/husband, we automatically tend to view them as having more value in a way as a society right? I don't really know whether it seems like that off the bat or not but it's kind of true I noticed.. and this isn't really right. The problem is in believing that as a society, so therefore we believe the opposite as well which is, if you don't have a boyfriend/husband then you must have less value, something is wrong with you, or every other girl knows something you don't about the opposite sex etc.. this is not true. When someone has a boyfriend/husband, it just means they have a boyfriend/husband lol. It means that they have someone in their life that can validate to an extent that they are pretty, worthy of love etc and could definitely be in love with that girl of course but it doesn't excuse the reason why he originally came into her life which has nothing to do with her. He came into her life because he wanted someone to be in HIS life. Simple as that. It's not because she must have something special and you don't or she knows a thing or two about men. Every woman is special and so are you! (flaws & all).
Nothing wrong with June from Honey boo boo, but if she can have a husband, then you can have a boyfriend lol. In essence, there is nothing wrong with you and here is where the problem lies. The feeling that something MUST be wrong with you. Yes, we all have things to work on but it doesn't mean we aren't worthy of love because of our flaws. Trust me, I've seen the plane janes/ obese girls/ all types of girls at the mall with men and some girls in my day to day life who are just outright obnoxious but have a guy (appearance and character flaws and all). If you think about it for a second, I'm sure you even know some women in your life or you've seen the most obnoxious women have a guy sometimes lol. {Love is a cosmic thing}. It happens to people who are meant to have it in their life at that particular time for particular reasons (not perfect people).. and as soon as your life doesn't need that in it, it will be gone, just like that.
Everything that happens in your life.., a new job, this or that is in your life to grow and mold you as the person you are suppose to be in this world when you are ready. The bad feelings you feel from a job/financial struggle or the single life are feelings that you can handle essentially and they are feelings that will grow and prosper you only and show you where you need to go next. Change doesn't come without discomfort. If you can't handle it, it won't happen to you until you are ready and then it will. If you are single now, there's a possibility you need to focus on other things at this time in your life like self growth, your career or your purpose here on earth! For people in relationships, there's a chance we have to learn relationship things and emotional skills and or people skills. If a relationship girl can enjoy her learning experience.., you can enjoy your learning experience as well.
Essentially, the main difference between people in relationships and people who aren't are you are simply learning different things.That's all lol. Nothing to fret about really. Now that that is out the way, here are a few tips to still enjoy your vday as the single fabulous girl you are!
1. Remember that love is a cosmic thing. Know that you are beautiful and worthy of love and it will come. Just because you are alone right now, it doesn't mean the opposite. I think this is the biggest reason people get sad on valentine's day. They think they aren't good enough and that is not true!
2. Get festive yourself. Some people are very festive ( that would be me lol) and can feel left out because they are single so therefore maybe they feel they can't celebrate with everyone else..but fear not, there's plenty of ways to celebrate vday. Do you like to bake? There's plenty of vday cupcake kits, cookies etc which is so fun to me! buy yourself chocolate if you want it lol. It's not a big deal. p.s vday chocolate is the best chocolate because it's the cutest! lol Get what you want and enjoy your day. Go get your nails done. Bring joy into someone else's life, even your girlfriends who have someone but preferably someone who doesn't and are in the same boat as you. Bring them some holiday cheer. Have a wine dinner with your best friend. If your one of those people who feel like,well, I just don't wanna be alone and at home while everyone else is going out and having fun. Then go out with a single friend. Go to a bar or out to eat with some good wine and just enjoy your night. I promise you, you will forget all your woes.
3. Treat it like any other day. If you aren't the festive type you can also simply just do nothing. Treat that day like any other day and go to work/school, come home and be with your kids or go home and take a nice hot bubble bath and de stress. Watch a good movie and enjoy a great night of sleep.
4. Throw yourself into something your passionate about. For me, that would be this blog. Again if you aren't the festive type and it makes you sad to see all the vday stuff, try your best and ignore it. If you don't want to go out because it reminds you that your single, stay home but stay home with something passionate to keep you busy. Don't just stay home with idle time so there's time to feel sad. Directly get into a project or something your passionate about and the hours will just fly and before you know it, that day will be over with. The night will have been spent productively and you had a good time while being productive as well.
5. Don't be Anti- Valentine! Valentine's Day is a beautiful holiday that celebrates love. Unfortunately for the single, it's also a holiday to remind you that you're single lol.. but I wouldn't hate the day itself. Think about it. Hating a day about love? I don't think most of us feel that way. We hate that it reminds us of the things in our life that are not going the way we want. But if you really think about that, there are probably a million things in your life that aren't going your way, not just your relationship status but do you let it make you depressed? If you do, that is a whole different issue of it's own, but if you don't, apply that to yourself on valentine's day as well when your home alone eating a pizza or whatever you like (and no, this is not pathetic). That is just life sometimes..
6. Make Valentine's day a day to celebrate yourself and love yourself! I was just thinking of this in the car and it's a great idea! Make it a day of love for yourself by getting yourself some nice things and just treating yourself nice (the way you wish a man would). I think another reason some women get sad is because they actually do end up missing out on things like chocolate in the heart box, little cute stuffed animals, roses. They walk by all those things in the store and think "oh, how cute" , "i want" but don't get it feeling like it's only designated for the relationship girl or a man to pick out when it's not! Honestly even as a relationship girl you wouldn't get half the cute things you saw in the vday section because a man wouldn't even pick those things out lol. If you have ever missed out on all the cute vday stuff, it's because in a way "you chose" to miss out on that stuff by telling yourself you couldn't get it because that could look desperate. Again, if you feel it's pathetic to buy yourself roses? That's insecurity. Get the roses. How is it pathetic to get some flowers for your house if you want them? Doing these things will probably feel half the void honestly.
7. just know that you are desirable and beautiful on your own. and if you don't feel this way and you don't know this on your own, this season of you being single is prepping you to be that woman that knows that (on her own). Another reason people are sad on valentine's day without a valentine is just pure insecurities that need to be worked through. It's feeling like you aren't pretty enough, don't have a good enough body, aren't outgoing enough, all of those things people tend to feel about themselves and having a guy in your life or a valentine is a great distraction that you feel all of those things about yourself.. A valentine, is in a nutshell a mask of everything that hides all that and says, you ARE beautiful, you ARE sexually attractive, there's nothing wrong with you which is why love can feel so great! It's like all of your problems disappearing. But it's also kind of like walking around through life with a crutch to help you get through. All that could be fine and dandy but as women we have to feel those things on our own! Otherwise you will always be dependent on a man for happiness and you will always feel sad and lonely on valentine's day. You have to feel that beautiful by yourself and be a [stand alone woman] so to speak. so if you are single, chin up pretty girl, you are more than likely on a journey towards that!
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sending lots of love to you this Valentine's Day!!
xoxo T <3 <3 <3